Appearing to be Normal while Eating

I did a strange thing today. The strange thing that I did today was that I appeared to be a normal person during my lunch hour. I appeared to be a normal person during my lunch hour by eating formal food like normal people. You may think that normal people do not exist, but the people who make the salt container with the picture of the lady and the umbrella disagree with you.

My apparent normality was made possible by the writing of my dear sister, which is included below. Prior to reading that, please enjoy this picture of me appearing to be a normal person during my lunch hour.

Eating out

Veggie Burritos (Qdoba, Chipotle, Taco del Mar)

When you order the veggie burrito, make sure you say “no beans, no cheese” (possibly more than once). Other than that, you should get a flour tortilla with rice, lettuce, tomatoes (are considered “mild salsa” or “pico de gallo”) and guacamole if you wanted it. And sometimes there are grilled green peppers and onions that can go in as well.

Veggie sub/sandwich (Subway, Georgio’s, Panera)

You need to pick the sub (“I’ll have a veggie sub please”), then you pick the bread (ask for “Italian” or “white”), then you pick the size (6’’ or 12’’) and the kind of cheese (none (duh)). I like to have mine toasted with green peppers and onions and then other stuff added on when it comes out of the toaster, but you can have it anyway you want it (toasted or not—you have to ask if you want it toasted) with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, green peppers, olives, pickles etc… Pretty much the person making it will ask you what you want, and you just tell them as they are putting it together for you. At the end, you can get oil and vinegar (pretty much the 2 components that make Italian dressing, which I like), mustard (I usually get one stripe of spicy mustard—isn’t really that spicy, but it’s a good flavor), mayonnaise (I usually skip ‘cause I already have the oil and vinegar for moisture and flavor), salt, pepper, parmesan (cheese—no!) or oregano (a spice that’s fine, but I usually skip). The 6’’ veggie sub at Subway works out to be less than $3.50 ‘cause meat is expensive and you’re not having any.

Mexican Rice (Azteca, Tijuana’s, Ixtapa)

Self-explanatory. Doesn’t hurt to clarify/remind “no beans, no cheese” because some restaurants automatically add that to the rice or anything else they happen to be serving. You can also order a burrito—just tell them what you want, or find the veggie one on the menu and modify it to what you want, again “no beans, no cheese” or ask for extra rice to replace the beans. If the burrito comes with red sauce all over it, it’s okay. It’s not spicy, it’s some yummy totally legal tomato stuff that goes on burritos to make them “wet burritos”

Pasta and Marinara sauce (Olive Garden, California Pizza Kitchen)

Pasta is pasta. Angel hair, linguine, spaghetti, cappelini, penne, rotini. All of those are pasta, just in different shapes and sizes. There is almost always one of those (or something of the like) that comes with marinara sauce or pomodoro (read the description—if it has “meat” in the description, don’t order it). “Marinara” is universally (okay, maybe not quite that) known as “tomato pasta sauce with no meat”. Ask if it comes with cheese, or say “no parmesan” so they don’t bring it to you with cheese all over it.

Baked potato (Wendy’s)

Order the “Sour cream and chive baked potato”. The sour cream comes packaged separate from the potato. You can trade your sour cream back for some margarine, or just ask for margarine and throw the sour cream away.

Steak Fries and Salad (Red Robin)

I don’t know why they’re called steak fries. Maybe because they are so big. I don’t believe it’s more than $3 for a bottomless basket of fries. Maybe they aren’t called steak fries on the menu at Red Robin. I think they might not even be by themselves on the menu (apart from coming with burgers), but I was there last week and asked for either a basket of fries, or a side of fries, and they brought them to me, and when I finished them, they refilled them again. They also have a decent side/garden salad, but you have to ask for no cheese. I don’t care too much for their Italian dressing, but it’s better than eating no dressing at all. They put tortilla chip pieces on their salads, and I like that.